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“Brienne and Jamie Forever!”- Game of Thrones Season 3 Episode 2 Review- ‘Dark Wings, Dark Words’

Dark Wings Dark Words Game of Thrones Jamie Brienne

This review is conducted by someone who has not read the books, so if I don’t get something please don’t complain to me about how it’s all there in the books. I WILL hit you.

If Game of Thrones suffers from one problem, it’s an over-abundance of characters. I understand that this is something that the show can’t help as it is merely an adaptation of a consistently-prolonged franchise, but it all gets rather muddled.

I don’t need everything fed to me and I appreciate that he show dives in head-first and expects you to keep up. As an audience member I like that. It doesn’t pander to me. But it also leaves me lost and keeping score tenfold more than I have ever had to on another program.

And the show shows no sign of slowing down when it comes to introducing new characters and parties into the equation. Jamie and Brienne ran across some interesting new sorts this week, and Arya got NEW FRIENDS!

Beyond the confusing aspects that come from juggling this many complex characters, it also has the incredibly-likely side effect of doing a disservice to these great characters by not being able to give them enough screen time, simply by virtue of the fact that, no, Game of Thrones episodes cannot be three hours long. That would be far more prostitute sex than the world can handle at this given time. We’ll fortify our ranks and get back to you.

Since the show seems to be taking a Lost Season 3 approach with only visiting a few of its characters every week, I’m going to take this as I always do and break it down character by character.

Arya, and her NEW FRIENDS

Second perhaps only to Tyrion, Arya tends to keep her inherently interesting self interestinger by surrounding herself with wonderful characters. Wonderful characters who offer ale to minors. Characters who make excellent points about how why didn’t Arya totally just have one of the war bigguns killed. I theorize she didn’t have Tywin killed because of the strange relationships the two developed throughout Season 2, and maybe she left Joffrey alive because of some lingering affection for her sister Sansa and wanting to see her eternally happy in the arms of a ridiculous maniac.

It may be strange that out of anything else on this show, by far the most implausible thing I believe I have seen was that arrow trick. I mean, sure, it showed us who formidable these fellows were, but it somehow, in a world full of dragons and dragon-raising, this felt like the most improbable and strange thing the show has ever done. Maybe the “strange” quotient had to be filled since Danaerys was missing this week, what with the nipple-ripping and teleporting street urchins.

Also, The Hound has come back! With his return, I believe the scorecard says we’ve had everyone but the Eunuch check in this season. I look forward to his castrated return.

Bran Stark and the Amazing Batman Child!!!

Hey! These guys are back, too. It’s good to have some follow-up on the whole three-eyed crow thing, as extended dream sequences seem to make my TV sets suffer from an acute case of remote controls being thrown through them. Bran, who I am going to assume has Progeria to justify his rapid aging, runs into a child who suffers from the rare and dangerous “Batman Syndrome,” where he seemingly has the ability to teleport and says vague things when someone turns around and saves him.

I haven’t yet grown particularly close to either of these new people, considering they only have two or three scenes, but I did like the bit about those who will always need protecting will continue to deserve protection, even though Bran was RIGHT THERE! Tact, lady!

And Hodor deserves his own special award for making me care so much about him just by saying his own name. I never bonded with Pikachu like this. I’ll start work on his trophy, most likely made from the hollow chambers of my callous Irish heart.

Theon Jesus

Wasn’t much to this storyline. I did anticipate Theon not being dead, despite last year’s cliffhanger. Someone with this big of a stick up his ass deserves to be beaten to death by said stick, and not marginalized by a blow to the head.

Catelyn

She nailed it. I don’t even know how much else to say about the tremendous roadside scene with Catelyn tonight. Michelle Fairley killed it and I am making her the second of tonight’s surprisingly commonplace Heart Trophies.

Jon Snow, Tarly, and the Best Friends Ever

Snow didn’t do much tonight beyond introduce something to be paid off in Bran’s storyline, and be poignant by appearing after Catelyn’s monologue.

Tarly, however, has the best friends ever. Yes, they left him when the White Walkers came, but they are also really sorry about it, and how many of us would seriously try dragging our fat friend when there was a very good chance we were going to be eaten by snow zombies? Like, four of you, ye valiant bastards.

Tyrion and Shae

Shae continues to prove, week after week, exactly why she is the woman that Tyrion would fall for. Much like Kerri Washington in Django Unchained, we get it.

Nothing else really happened with them tonight, or I’d talk about it more.

Also, to answer Tyrion’s question, I WOULD BE BAELISH’S FRIEND!

Margery, Sansa, Joffrey, and Oh Hey, Cersei! Oh Bye, Cersei!

You know, for someone who last week I didn’t even remember, Margery is fast shaping up into one of my favorite characters on the show. She’s cunning, and interesting, and willing to do what it takes to ensure that what she wants gets done. Her interaction with Joffrey, in the world’s least-manly scene involving a crossbow, is impressive. The Lannisters are my favorite and she’s exactly like a Lannister, with a slightly larger aversion to incest.

It’s also good to see some development for Sansa. Not that she was blind to Joffrey’s homicidal douchebaggery before tonight, but she can finally admit it, and to other people. Sansa has long been my least favorite Stark, so to see her taking charge and asserting herself is wonderful, even if she’s not all of the way there yet. The root of interesting characters is action, and we’re seeing her finally jump into action.

And it was good to see you, Cersei. Hope you can stick around longer next time.

Cutest Couple: Jamie and Brienne

I am shipping these two so hard. I want these two crazy kids, with their witty banter and slightly-too-long sword fights, to get together when all this war business is over and make tall, sarcastic babies. I like Brienne (particularly what she represents for women on television), and it would be good to see Jamie swim in a dating pool that he wasn’t born in.

The new fellows that they run into mean business, and provide us with a much better and more tantalizing episode closing than we got last week, and, as always, I am eagerly awaiting what we get next week.

B+

Chekhov’s Gunman is moderated by Kevin Lanigan, a future writer of movies and television and current writer of Wikipedia articles about corn cultures. You can follow Kevin on Twitter if you’d like, and keep checking back here every week. We’ve got weekly reviews of Community and Game of Thrones, essays about topics in film and TV, and a list feature called a Mexican Standoff.

Remember to always pay your debts!

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5 thoughts on ““Brienne and Jamie Forever!”- Game of Thrones Season 3 Episode 2 Review- ‘Dark Wings, Dark Words’

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