“It’s Like a Medieval American Pie”- Game of Thrones Season 3 Episode 3 Review- ‘Walk of Punishment’
This review contains spoilers because it is a review. Also, I have not read the books so shut up if I don’t know the significance of someone’s handmaiden. I get that she might end up killing Jamie, or whatever, but I haven’t read that far.
Tonight, silence was golden. Not that there weren’t some great bits of dialogue (as usual this season I am loving everything vaguely related to Catelyn), but the silence particularly shown through. The first scene of the Viking funeral was done almost entirely without dialogue, and the wordless seating arrangements for Tywin’s Hand of the King meeting was beautiful and hilarious.
Speaking of which, tonight was an uncommonly hilarious episode of the show. What with the aforementioned funeral, and Tyrion and Bronn’s weird foray into a rejected American Pie subplot, I was laughing a lot more tonight than usual in this show about incest and nipple-cutting.
As usual, we’re going to take this character by character.
Catelyn Stark, my new love
Lady Stark has really been nailing it this season, giving yet another beautiful monologue. Even though my girl has been largely unnecessary to the action so far this season, these lovely bits of character depth have kept her interesting and enticed my interest. I understand she’s out of my league and that if we were married I would be wed to someone with a senior discount, but none of that matters to me now. Sorry, Cersei, but I have a new lady love.
As for her family, I’m enjoying the new presence of this Blackfish fellow and hope highly for his grizzledness to come. And then there’s Edmure, whose lack of archery prowess yielded us what is possibly the funniest bit of physical comedy we’ve seen on a show that is, yet again, mostly about incest and nipples with varying degrees of damage done upon them.
Daenerys Targaryen in ADVENTURES IN BARTERING
As I’ve talked about before, the show really seems to be tipping things in Danny’s favor, giving her a wonderful set of advisers, a seemingly indestructible army of 8,000, and, oh yes, three often-misplaced dragons. What made tonight interesting is that she decided to misplace those dragons again, this time by trading them for eunuchs. I don’t know the standard going rate for 8,000 eunuchs, but a fire-breathing hell beast seems like a marginally fair trade.
Now, I suspect Danny (whose name I have given up on spelling correctly) will have her dragons back relatively shortly. I can’t imagine we’ve dropped one whole dragon. Danny will get them back. She has a plan. One most likely involving roasted slavers.
We haven’t seen much from Barristan, Danny’s new cohort, but there hasn’t even been enough time this season for Theon to do anything, so I’m going to give him some time, even if it means his entrance into the show at the end of Episode 1 still feels grossly overdramatic.
I’ve never understood the negative backlash people seem to have against Daenerys. Personally, I’ve always loved her, even when she was faffing about looking for her dragons. And look at the way she faffed about tonight! She faffed so well, and negotiated a really solid deal. She did something totally unexpected and why does everyone hate her so much?
Her material actually feels more and more to me like an RPG. A Bioware one to be specific. Danny is on her own separate journey, talks to people and gathers resources, and carries with her an eclectic and interesting group of people. Even the way she and her crew stood tonight felt a lot like how Commander Shepard and his/her people might stand as they negotiated terms with a slaver. The inevitable Game of Thrones RPG would just be Danny’s Life.
Tyrion and Bronn and the Case of the Superpenis
Besides another very nice scene between Tyrion and Tywin, most of our business with these folks tonight was spent romping about pink rooms full of boobs because HBO has to feed a certain number of tributes to some kind of horny Cthulu. I can’t really imagine where this storyline is going. It’s not over. We’re left with a lot of unanswered questions regarding the sexual prowess of Pod the squire. And I… need those answers?
Also, VARYS WAS BACK! AND LITTLEFINGER WAS THERE, TOO! These two have always been a favorite part of the show for me, and Vary’s return marks the reappearance of every major past character into Season 3. It was good to see them, even if they didn’t do anything. Tywin and Cersei suffered a similar fate, while Sansa and her bits were skipped over entirely. I’m hungry for more Lannister.
Tarly. This is how heroes are born.
Tarly is going to attempt to kill a lot of people one day. I’m calling it right now. And one of those attempts is going to be on our old friend The Child Abandoner. I’m actually excited to see what happens to our Night’s Watchmen now that we’ve seen the baby penis. There was a strangely large number of penises tonight.
Jon Snow, who is definitely still alive.
He is still alive and still walking around in the snow, which, admittedly, is where he belongs. Not that he’s not interesting. I actually really like the King of the North. Jon’s just one of the characters most marginalized by the overstuffing of Season 3. Although, that imagine of the dead horses was breathtaking, and one of my favorite visual moments in the show’s history.
Oh, yeah, Theon…
I still have almost no clue what’s going on with Theon. But he’s also had all of five minutes of screen time this season, so I don’t know how fairly I can judge the man.
Arya and the Infinite Sadness
This was so damn sweet. Not that I was ever too attached to Hot Pie, but their parting was really tender and sweet. There was wolf bread and cute children and I liked it. I don’t know what else to say. I hope The Hound gets his shit together, though. It would be in all of our best interests if The Hound got his shit together.
Brienne and Jamie: A Love Story
I really like Jamie now. I’m a well-documented Lannister fan, but now I really like Jamie and that is officially every Lannister receiving high marks in my book.
I’m not sure if it was HBO or just the site I was on, but every streaming of this episode I could find cut out the last two minutes or so of the episode’s audio and replaced it with Irish rock. Seriously. So I have absolutely no clue what was said before Jamie’s hand was cut the fuck off, but I do know that his hand was cut the fuck off. This is bad. I feel this is bad. But I am impressed with the way the show subverted what has become a bit of a standard on this show of the charismatic guy talking his way out of violence. It seemed like Jamie’s compassion and charisma had gotten him out of another sticky situation, and then it got him into a stickier situation when he got covered with his own sticky blood as his hand was cut the fuck off.
Still shipping these two, though. And I hope that Brienne can see through the whole “one-handed” thing and love Jamie for who he is. A butthole. With a heart of gold.
A- For the funniest and best episode this season with some truly shocking moments and a lot of build on the material we’ve seen so far
Chekhov’s Gunman is a film and TV blog moderated by Kevin Lanigan, a future writer of movies and television and a current writer of parodies of songs by The Shins. You can follow him on Twitter and be sure to check back here often, as we have weekly reviews of Game of Thrones and Community, as well as a Mexican Standoffs feature, and our Good Stuff column.
See you next week as we find out the answer to who shot JR!