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JURASSIC WORLD is the Stupidest Movie I Have Ever Seen. I Liked It. – Movie Review

Jurassic World Chris Pratt Raptor Friends

There are probably no spoilers ahead.

You have to admire a movie that, at every juncture possible, makes the stupidest decision it possibly can. In a more logical, cohesive film, many of the moments in Jurassic World would stand out as odd choices for its characters to make. In Jurassic World, these are incremental steps on the ladder of stupidity on which these characters find themselves. To commit so fully and so completely to being so stone dumb is an act of true heroism. Read more…

TALKING BACK TO THE MOVIES: Francis Ford Coppola (in the 1970s)

the godfather

I am very proud of my podcast, Talking Back to the Movies. My pal, roommate, and fellow filmmaker Gabe Levy and myself have established a nice little podcast in just under twenty episodes. We have talked about all sorts of films with a variety of genres and intents. And though neither Gabe nor myself are much for the “films just used to be better” mindset, it was about time that we covered some true classics of American film. And so came in our discussion of Francis Ford Coppola in the 1970s. Read more…

GAME OF THRONES Season 5 Episode 5 Review, “Kill the Boy”

Game of Thrones Kill the Boy Brienne

This review is from the point of view of someone who hasn’t read the books. Books are for nerds. I’m take in my dense fantasy stories on television. Like a cool kid.

Get ready, people. We are rounding the bend past the stone man bridge that comes around this point in a Game of Thrones season and are about to plow headlong into the spreading Gravel Leprosy of the back half of a season. This is where the plot threads that we become so frustrated with start to tighten and we ride into the sections where political conspiracies come to the forefront, people we love start dying, and something big happens in Episode Nine. Read more…

COMMUNITY Season 6 Episode 8/9/10 Review, “Intro to Recycled Cinema”/”Grifting 101”/”Basic RV Repair and Palmistry”

Community Intro to Recycled Cinema Chang

It’s a threefer, ladies and gentlemen! Read more…

AVENGERS: AGE OF ULTRON Movie Review (So Many Spoilers)

Avengers AGe of Ultron Team

It’s not easy making something that’s fun. You know this fact too well if you’ve ever planned a party or set up a Slip ‘N Slide or procreated a party clown. Although movies that are referred to as “mere entertainment” are looked down upon by those whose noses are turned up so high that they enter a room Adam’s Apple first, it is almost as difficult to make something that feels effortless and carefree as it is to craft that homeless amputee drama you’ve been writing. Read more…

GAME OF THRONES Season 5 Episode 4 Review, “Sons of the Harpy”

game of thrones season 5 episode 4 sons of the harpy obara

This review is from the point of view of someone who hasn’t read the books. I bet you looked forward to the school Book Fair, too, didn’t yah, nerd?

Is Game of Thrones teaching us to be afraid of birds? Read more…

TALKING BACK TO THE MOVIES: Paul Thomas Anderson

There Will Be Blood

For fifteen episodes now, my good friend and fellow filmmaker Gabe Levy and I have been doing a podcast called Talking Back to the Movies. We go through the work of a filmmaker or film series film by film, talking about how an auteur evolves, the themes that run between films, and how good these movies are. We recently completed our third director: Paul Thomas Anderson. Read more…

AVENGERS: AGE OF ULTRON Spoiler Free Review

Avengers Age of Ultron Read more…

GAME OF THRONES Season 5 Episode 3 Review, “High Sparrow”

game of thrones season 5 episode 3 the high sparrow sansa littlefinger

This review is from the point of view of someone who hasn’t read the books. Go back to the library, poindexter.

On Game of Thrones, one can never be too sure of who they’re going to bump into next and how exactly that person is going to ruin your life. Anyone from Ramsay Bolton to a complete stranger to a guy from Pirates of the Caribbean could show up out of nowhere and ruin the perfectly good thing you had going, often when you finally get that perfectly good thing really going. This week Jon Snow tried to honor an enemy and ended up beheading a guy named Janos (I’m told all members of the Night’s Watch have names, but I find this claim dubious). As the old saying goes, “Man plans. George R.R. Martin laughs.” Read more…

COMMUNITY Season 6 Episode 7 Review, “Advanced Safety Features”

community season 6 episode 7 advanced safety features

Product placement is tricky business. Even at its best (like in Tropic Thunder when Matthew McConaughey journeyed to Laos to save a helicopter full of actors by throwing a TiVO in the path of a rocket), audience members are still keenly aware that they are looking at a product that has wormed its way onto the screen as the memo on a big ol’ check. It’s as agonizing to watch Will Smith’s criminal investigation into robomurder in I, Robot get stopped repeatedly for people to talk about how cool his Converse shoes are as it is to watch the bad movie known as I, Robot. When Gone Girl dared feature both Mountain Dew and Netflix thinkpieces arose about whether or not David Fincher sold out his pulpy masterpiece.

Is there a fundamental difference in quality between the characters on Community enjoying Let’s Potato Chips and an Xbox 360 and a Mountain Dew machine being turned into evil robots by the cube from Transformers that then and only then turned inanimate objects into evil robots? They are both equally unbelievable and distracting. In an increasingly-merchandized world, it is just as false for characters to eat fake brands as it is for them to stop everything and have a delicious Burger King dinner with Carl Weathers.

I bring this up only to tell you that I laughed at every damn Honda joke in this episode. Read more…

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